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lemonpillow Funny Status Messages
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Whenever I sing,i put the cat in the front yard. That way,the neighbours can see it and know it's not being strangled.
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02-24-2010 12:11 by
Lemonpillow
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Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
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06-03-2010 02:21 by
lemonpillow
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You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.
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04-22-2010 15:59 by
lemonpillow
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Remember, the next time Iceland says "pull my finger" ignore it
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04-19-2010 02:38 by
lemonpillow
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Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
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06-10-2010 11:14 by
lemonpillow
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I'm what you might call an "incurable romantic". Although that's not the term they use at the Free Clinic.
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03-31-2010 09:17 by
Lemonpillow
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will be attending Sleep. Invited By : Mr Sandman.RSVP: Yes. Location: My Bed. Time: Now until 7 Am.
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05-25-2010 20:34 by
Lemonpillow
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This day is going so well..ill give it 10/10/10!
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10-10-2010 12:38 by
lemonpillow
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If there are ice cream vans in the summer, why cant we have Starbucks vans in the winter?
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02-09-2011 18:10 by
lemonpillow
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Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.
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12-10-2009 07:29 by
Lemonpillow
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I put on my favorite winter jacket for the first time the other day, and as soon as I put my hands in those pockets, I was immediately reminded that last year I didn't have any money, either.
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01-03-2010 13:31 by
lemonpillow
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The difference between divorce and legal seperation is that legal seperation gives a husband time to hide his money.
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02-22-2010 13:11 by
Lemonpillow
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Life is too complicated in the morning.
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12-28-2009 10:11 by
Lemonpillow
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If life were more like a movie, we'd all be dead after about 90 minutes.
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09-09-2010 13:42 by
lemonpillow
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..New Year's Resolution: Drink More. Fall Down Less. She'll put that to the test tonight.
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12-31-2009 11:32 by
Lemonpillow
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100% of all divorces are caused by marriage.
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11-05-2009 05:07 by
Lemonpillow
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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends
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07-02-2010 15:47 by
lemonpillow
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The reason I'm single? She wouldn't marry me when I was drinking and I wouldn't marry her when I was sober.
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01-23-2011 09:28 by
lemonpillow
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Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.
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11-17-2009 13:16 by
lemonpillow
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Bananosecond, n.; Time elapsed between slipping on the peel and hitting the pavement.
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03-29-2010 15:33 by
lemonpillow
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