Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   If you want to lose "friends"....tell the truth.

   thank you for the thousands and thousands of reminders letting me know what today is. Good job Thanks!! Keep me posted!

   Seems like everything is going according to plan as usual. The media is distracting the public masses with Miley Cyrus, not seeing that the U.S. is gearing up for another useless war with Syria....'They' got you by the balls.

   If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

   Say NO to the Bathroom Duckface & Quacker Lips photo epidemic.

   Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ.

   Scrolling down your Facebook News Feed can sometimes be just like scrolling down the spam folder in your yahoo mail.

   When is the excessive use of the word 'swagg' going to die already. Getting tired of hearing it in every rap song. Bad enough people don't even know the true meaning of it.

   [Dear Teen/Young Adult/Rapper Who Sags Their Pants]: Do you even know the origin of that fashion statement?

   Women....why does your purse need a seat of it's own?

   So you go to college to get a job so you can have a job to pay for college. Then you spend all your time at work and end up with no time to live the life you're working for....Ok...interesting plan.

   You can keep your love, your trust is what attracts me.

   It's funny...they leave the vault doors wide open in banks but somehow have those .50 cent pens chained to the tables.

   If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

   Great...now everybody is a damn food photographer. Hope this fad dies out quicker than Planking.

   I checked the thermometer outside. The temperature read "Fuck this shit! Stay in the house!"

   If you're on facebook saying you're at the gym, then you're not doing anything gym related.

   JUSTIN BIEBER: "I'm famous because I have thousands of fans and I am only 18." GOKU: "B!tch I have billions of fans and I don't even exist."

   Damn! Facebook goes through more mood swings and changes than a 18 year old girl........or is it a 21 year old? [ I forgot which one was b*tch!er]

   It turns out if a person looks into your eyes for more than 6 seconds without blinking, he/she wants to either kill you or have sex with you.