Fat Alec Funny Status Messages

   If you hear a guy order a Pumpkin Spiced Latte go ahead and steal his wallet. Trust me, he's not gonna do anything about it.

   I'm not that vain, but that song is about me.

   Kim K is single again and the McRib is back... Black men are having the best week of their lives.

   Did I study? Nah. Did I buy a fancy pencil? You better beleive it.

   thankfully does not live in a yellow submarine.

   doesnt skinny dip...i chunky dunk

   It is hard to pull off gangster with a toy poodle sitting in your lap.

   Costco: Go hungry leave happy

   Deer Jesse James, Thank You. From, Tiger Woods

   A. Drunk B. Sober C. High D. All of the above

   if your blonde and attractive... stay away from Aruba

   like Doug's friends Skeeter whenever I meet her cuz I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise!

   Type 2204355 and hit I'm feeling lucky in google... worth it

   Happy 8-9-10 day, now make this day count. (little number humor. haha)

   Hey east coast, California speaking. Hope you enjoyed our earthquakes:)

   One day I wanna copy someone's status word for word and see if they notice.

   not every pony grows up to be a Pegasus

   Ever notice that our President's initials are B.O. makes sense because he stinks

   =+(:) <--- stewie griffin

   Now that one Kim is gone, Kardashian can go too