Zack Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 09:41 by zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women may never understand the enjoyment from putting a warm coffee mug between their legs in the morning. ‪#‎warmnuts
←Rate | 11-17-2014 09:02 by zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don't give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.
←Rate | 09-11-2014 16:46 by zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another successful year no random father's day cards in the mail!!!
←Rate | 06-17-2014 19:05 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2 years ago the creator of redbull died, to this day his eyes are still open.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 09:09 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spilled a my redbull on my phone this morning, now my phone wont come out of airplane mode
←Rate | 11-25-2013 08:52 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Commercials on Pandora & Youtube are the Devil.
←Rate | 11-14-2013 09:52 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking Red Bull cured me, Conclusion; my cells allowed bacteria and viruses inside to kill them for sport.
←Rate | 11-14-2013 09:51 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its so cold I had to rub two ice cubes together to start a fire
←Rate | 11-14-2013 09:48 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
←Rate | 09-27-2013 08:50 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 17:48 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon I propose we add a new day to the week and call it "Someday," just think of all the awesome stuff that would happen on it.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 20:57 by Zack Comments (1)  


   messageicon Auto correct can go straight to He'll
←Rate | 11-19-2010 01:42 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon features more cowbell than legally allowed in seven countries
←Rate | 11-18-2010 08:41 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous
←Rate | 10-20-2010 21:47 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon They didn't break the mold after me, they just chained it up.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 22:40 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon full of whimsical f*ckery
←Rate | 09-30-2010 23:08 by Zack Comments (1)  


   messageicon what you would call an "Anit-Hero"
←Rate | 09-30-2010 22:46 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon a super hero, with NO powers of motivation.
←Rate | 09-30-2010 22:45 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Each day is a gift...Mondays are gag gifts!
←Rate | 09-28-2010 00:40 by Zack Comments (0)  


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