Yaj Funny Status Messages

   My favorite bible verse is Lunch 12:45

   I wear a mask. I'm vaccinated. You other inbreds our there in the midwest driving around your pickup trucks with 3 teeth and a mullet can contract the virus, spread it to your family and have the whole lot of them cease to breathe.

   I am "I remember when Saturday Night Live Was Funny" years old.

   Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!

   It's probably called almond milk because nut juice doesn't sound as enticing..

   It was nice to see Rose from the Titanic do the coin toss..

   Never criticise your husband's faults. It may have been those little imperfections which stopped him from getting a better wife.

   Today I heard a guy on the street say, 'It's chowder season, baby!' so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words

   In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

   Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money

   I didn't realize the AIDS epidemic was so bad, they say one in every two and a half men have it

   "Hi Kids! Wanna see how I lost all this weight playing hide the salami? And you might get to see my footlong!!! (which is actually 11")

   In memory of Whitney Houston, all flags should be lowered a crack..

   The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades..

   It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!

   wonders if I have ever eaten an egg that came from a chicken I ate

   It seems as if I come across the most scary spiders while I'm in the bathroom. For that, I am somewhat grateful

   If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.

   If you ever think that English is not a shtty language, just remember that read and lead rhyme, and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead

   Just got a message from Jaheem Kofi, the kid I'm feeding for $.50 a day in Ivory Coast... he wants his NY Ranger 2014 Stanley Cup Champions T-shirt in small.