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StonerDudee Funny Status Messages
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Most nights at 2am I think of where I will be in ten, fifteen, twenty years. Other nights at 2am I wonder if I'll even make it that far.
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02-01-2020 22:34 by
StonerDudee
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This girl I know said she has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207
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12-28-2019 23:57 by
StonerDudee
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What are nudes? Someone show me.
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01-03-2017 19:29 by
StonerDudee
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When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
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08-16-2015 19:50 by
StonerDudee
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You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
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08-16-2015 19:49 by
StonerDudee
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Police ordered me to get out of my car 'You're staggering' said the officer .'you're not a bad looking f*cker yourself' I replied
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08-03-2015 11:34 by
StonerDudee
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I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.
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07-31-2015 23:40 by
StonerDudee
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This lady behind me is reading what I'm writing while I'm waiting on line in the pharmacy. Can't wait till she .....aaaAAHHHHH! THAT'S RIGHT LADY!!!....Look away!
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07-11-2015 22:48 by
StonerDudee
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I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
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07-09-2015 02:40 by
StonerDudee
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On the bright side, selfie sticks are also lightning rods.
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06-18-2015 22:47 by
StonerDudee
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Men everywhere should appreciate Starbucks attempt to brainwash women into believing that grande means medium.
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06-15-2015 19:52 by
StonerDudee
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If she posts 7 new selfies a day, Regardless of how hot she is, Let it go bud. You'll never give the amount of attention required. Science.
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06-11-2015 17:40 by
StonerDudee
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Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
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05-10-2015 22:05 by
StonerDudee
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At what age do you stop shopping at Costco because you won't use the entire pack before you die?
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05-08-2015 01:45 by
StonerDudee
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The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the f*ck they're doing.
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05-08-2015 01:44 by
StonerDudee
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Never trust a girl who has her own face set as the background of her phone.
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05-01-2015 22:22 by
StonerDudee
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If you're thinking of hanging out with your ex, jerk off first and see how you feel after that.
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04-23-2015 10:50 by
StonerDudee
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Saw a huge spider the size of a walnut while I was taking a shower so I pulled off the curtain rod & pole vaulted myself into the hallway.
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04-23-2015 10:47 by
StonerDudee
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Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
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04-23-2015 10:46 by
StonerDudee
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You had me at 0 mutual friends..
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03-11-2015 16:37 by
StonerDudee
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