Rashad Hammoud Funny Status Messages

   The BIG difference between men and women is that women will complain if they switched genders while men will appreciate the opportunity!

   I've been told I have a face for Photoshop.

   I wonder if all hot girls go through life believing that everyone is being genuinely nice to them all the time.

   Got this great new calorie counting app. Each day I go for a new high score.

   Woke up with a smile after noticing I have as many NBA rings as LeBron.

   My girlfriend says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?

   If a genie were to give me 3 wishes... goodbye Kardashians!

   Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease and irritate each other, knock each other down, but can't live without each other.

   Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.

   If you watch Godzilla vs. King Kong backwards it's about two monsters who forget their differences and build a city

   Just denied 47 requests to play FarmVille, apparently I need new friends.

   Google turned 12 this year, so now we have 1 more year to use it before it turns into a teenager and wont answer anything!

   Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…

   They've asked me to appear on “I Shouldn't Be Alive.” I didn't survive anything. They just don't like me.

   Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

   I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….

   Guys, it's time to start working on those apologies for Valentine's Day.

   Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"

   Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

   I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status.