Rachael Funny Status Messages

   I personally do not like to drive in the rain but the kid in me LOVES(♥'s) to drive over the rain puddles =]

   it just me, or is everyones day ruined when you hear that J.G. Wentworth commerical? No matter when, where or even how I hear it, that damn commericals song gets stuck in my head. Damn you J.G. Wentworth and you ability to get my cash now!

   I'm like a cold-cut of amazing sandwiched between two pieces of awesome! Charlie Sheen....I think I wanna marry that crazy Ba*tard, if nothing else having a conversation with him would be AWESOME!

   So I re-watched the Ke$ha video after a half a bottle of wine last night, and not even while intoxicated does that sh*t makes sense! I guess you have to get some blow, to get Blow

   I'm humored that libya produces less than 2 percent of the worlds oil but speculation has put it roughly 30 percent up at the pump in the past weeks. But what do I know

   Honestly... why have faith in anyone that's not myself?

   "I ain't even trying to wave at you, I've got better things to do with my hands" oh bad girls club you never cease to entertain

   Due to inclimte weather, all shenanigans are cancelled until further notice

   Why is it so hard to find information without paying for it? but I can google Kevin Bacon, Justin Bieber and that OctoMom for free?!? AH

   Attention kids in high school: If you're b@#$%ing that Facebook is "becoming myspace".... it's because of you.... please stop b@#$%ing and use facebook for what it was made for... to lurk on other peoples photos

   I hate when people talk on there phones in public restrooms. Who are you?? Ricky Martin?!?! You ain't that damn important

   If I had to choose one person that I really look up to.... It would be myself, for having the strength to get up everyday and overcome myself.... I'm the most self-destructive person alive

   Would just love to punch someone in the Kidneys but apparently society frowns upon that

   ♪♫♫♪Accept the Poke. THAT'S IT. Then Poke me back, Game over. Then I can Poke you, then Poke me back. And were done. That's it, That's all I want. Then I'll Poke you again, and you Poke me back. Poke Me Back♫♪♫♫♪♪♪♫♪♫

   Just Overheard on BlackOps online;Guy 1: YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION!!!! Guy 2: I know I Hate my sister!

   Doesnt matter if the Bengals lose.... Yeah a win would be nice but at least our Quater back isnt a douche. You can constantly improve, you cant fix Douche-Baggery. There I win ;)

   not a Paraskevidekatriaphobic!!! Happy Friday The 13th everyone!!!

   The funniest thing about this message is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything you its too late for you to stop reading it you dumb f**k

   Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

   The trouble with life is there's no background music