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Maureen Funny Status Messages
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surprised that Kate and William didn't go with my suggested royal baby name of Princess Consuela Bananahammock!
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05-04-2015 14:36 by
Maureen
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may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don't have the best childing skills, either.
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10-04-2014 12:32 by
Maureen
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recovering from this long work day with my friend, Char...donnay!
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05-05-2014 21:17 by
Maureen
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wonders why we can't just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
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05-02-2014 19:48 by
Maureen
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Note to self: you never read these notes, so stop writing them.
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06-24-2013 20:34 by
Maureen
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UPS delivery guys don't like it when you go up to their truck and order an ice cream sandwich and a bomb pop.
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06-24-2013 20:31 by
Maureen
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Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet.
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04-25-2013 21:11 by
Maureen
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gets the feeling that I need coffee more than coffee will ever need me.
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03-06-2013 08:07 by
Maureen
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Guys - A few words of wisdom...when a woman asks for your opinion, she doesn't want to hear your "actual" opinion, she simply wants to hear her opinion in a deeper voice.
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03-04-2013 20:20 by
Maureen
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would imagine there really isn't any market for sea shells down by the sea shore considering the abundance of free sea shells.
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02-04-2013 07:55 by
Maureen
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Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel - instead of send.
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01-29-2013 10:13 by
Maureen
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hurt my leg while sleeping last night in case you're wondering how I'd do running a marathon.
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01-29-2013 10:12 by
Maureen
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freely admits that I don't know how to play Minesweeper - I just click random boxes hoping I'm right.
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01-28-2013 23:53 by
Maureen
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Before you judge Mitt Romney, try walking a mile in his backyard.
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10-20-2012 11:54 by
Maureen
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makes a mean cup of coffee! This one just told me I'm not as funny as I think I am.
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09-23-2012 19:09 by
Maureen
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The side effects of the medicine I just took include nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, repeating things four times & difficulty adding.
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09-23-2012 19:06 by
Maureen
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Let me put things into perspective for you....persp(things)ective....you're welcome!
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08-20-2012 21:13 by
Maureen
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Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter.
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08-13-2012 22:24 by
Maureen
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can't understand why Victoria's Secret incorrectly refers to these "wine-drinking, recliner pants" I'm wearing as "yoga pants."
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08-13-2012 19:21 by
Maureen
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Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not work-related or Mel Gibson!
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08-13-2012 09:10 by
Maureen
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