Lil-David Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if, Wes Craven died in his sleep....Or did he go out with a Scream?

   it's freezing outside..at least I don't have to walk the 20 feet for a cold beer, the ice window box is just a little stretch...

   I don't know if I need to close one eye and fart, or sh-t and go blind

   Justin Bieber Hospitalized for Limp Wrist Injury

   How to solve all the children crossing the southern border illegally, put all the registered sex offenders and pedifiles there to give them candy and greet them!

   We'll take Justin Bieber... Roman Catholic Church Priest Diocese.

   Charlie Sheen and Justin Bieber BFF'S

   We should be able to text 911, just in case you're hiding from the crazy psycho killer in the trunk of a car...

   With my luck that Southwest plane would have landed in rebel terrorist controlled Syria!

   Governor Chris Christie ran his pie hole for 2 hours, that explains the warmer weather!

   The opinion of one is the opinion of all........

   If I get their attention negative or positive I accomplished my intent...

   Colorado is changing their state flower to "Sinsemilla"

   RIP Uncle Phil (James Avery) you were the Prince of Bel Air!

   I want to move to Colorado that way this be a legal "Wake-N-Bake"

   The best part of waking up..... Is Bailey's In My Cup...

   Lets Do The 2014 New Years Hump Today!

   Well it's almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!

   We had a war on drugs, there were more drugs, war on terror and more terrorist, so for 2014 we need to have a war on money and jobs, it can't hurt!

   Nothing shows more Christmas spirit then then Egypt, and Sudan they keep sending each other cars- that blow up! Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal!