L Funny Status Messages

   Happiness is the best drug on earth and I want to be the number one drug dealer

   I'll never delete another email again. Just Twitter.

   Facebook live exposing sh*tty cellphones 2015

   It's my birthday!! These crazy woman sending me all these flowers it look like a funeral up in here

   The girl on the flyer is never at the club.

   I love when people comment on my winter weather from warm climates... "It's 80 here" and your inside on the Internet? Losers always lose

   Ladies walk the dog don't let the dog walk you

   My life's great I'm just missing that significant other

   In order to make change in your life you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired

   I never lose sleep over my enemies its my friends that keep me awake.

   a little shake .. a little tingle.. a little shake.. a little tingle.

   Fathers day + My Birthday.. now thats what I call Sonday

   You think she's hot?you should of seen the one that got away.

   Pro tip: the kids run around a little longer of you forget to hide the eggs

   Twitter is the gym membership of the internet

   I can't wait for all the life long residents in NY to see snow for the first time.

   I need a full body the selfie movement ain't doin it for me lady's

   Starting the year off right!! Fried chicken, French fries more fried chicken and a fried gym membership.

   Cosby Show Fact: Sandra and Elvans Children were named after Winnie and Nelson Mandela. #RIP

   Who needs the NFL Ticket when you have Facebook?