Fazzella Funny Status Messages

   Okay you refugees, idiots aren't terrorist. By definition, they are running away from the idiots. Why are you too stupid to realize this???????

   This milk tastes like gorgonzola cheese. The sell by date is 12/29. Never mind. 12/29/15.

   I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.

   Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

   Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

   After Chelsea returned from a date, Hillary asked her if she had a good time. Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love. Hillary said, "You didn't have sex, did you? Chelsea said, "Not according to Dad."

   Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love. Hillary said, "You didn't have s-e-x, did you? Chelsea said, "Not according to Dad."

   I can never tell when one someone pokes me right back on facebook if they're really into me or has major OCD.

   Indi@n people win spelling bees, Jeopardy championships, and collegiate scholarships. They know everything...except the existence of deodorants.

   Election still got you down? It could be worse. You could be a conjoined twin with a g@y brother who has a date and you're the only one with an @$$.

   The election in a nutshell: We let the p*ssies play pin the tail on the donkey for a while, then shut the party down.

   No need to build a wall. Just have Rosie O'Donnell lay down on the Mexican/American border.

   It seems Michael Moore attained, at least partially, one of the two things he desperately needs, which is humility. We can only hope the other will soon be forthcoming....a bath.

   Hey Hillary! Are there any remaining campaign funds to make a trip to a microphone and ask your supporters to chill out?

   What we've learned from this election, is that if you go black, you can indeed go back.

   If Hillary wins, all public government announcements will begin with: Ladies, Gentlemen and Trannies....

   I'm SO looking forward to Disney's new Brazilian Wax theme park. Yes, I'm talking about EPTWAT.

   Someone asked me what is there to look forward to in life after becoming a grandfather. I said, "Smelling like mothballs."

   There was a time when I, you know, wouldn't go "down" there...I suggested my girl trim it into a dinosaur shape. That's how my parents got me to eat chicken.

   Let's face it. If we exist, it means we come from a long line of f**kers.