Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon good morning status
←Rate | 05-23-2018 04:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a klansman is proud to be part of the klan. Why does he wear hood?
←Rate | 05-22-2018 23:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cruelty is people with back pain having to bend over at the pharmacy to get a tube of Bengay from the bottom shelf.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 15:33 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey, Starbucks...looks like your “Open Borders” policy kinda failed miserably after 2 day’s, huh?! Imagine that...
←Rate | 05-22-2018 14:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who blame autocorrect for their mistakes are just finger painting
←Rate | 05-22-2018 14:29 by @joeljeffrey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 13:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not having sex is really ruining my sex life.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 12:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon USA had 288 school shootings since 2009. In second place, we have France with 2. What are we doing wrong?
←Rate | 05-22-2018 11:36 Comments (3)  

   messageicon How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
←Rate | 05-22-2018 10:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just got catcalled by a construction worker, again. Why can't men realize that we just want to walk down the sidewalk without someone calling out "hey that cement is wet!"
←Rate | 05-22-2018 07:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can't make eye contact.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 07:56 by @jasonlastname Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dating Tip: if she says she likes cats, push her plate off the table.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 07:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember getting your first athletic protective cup as a kid and you and your fellow players would test them by kicking each other in the junk? Or was that just me and my weird friends?
←Rate | 05-21-2018 23:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 17:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it "Brainstorm" or "Green Needle" Just asking.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 16:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Butt stuff? God no. I'm a proper lady, and only use my butt hole for smuggling drugs.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 15:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is the devil 😈 tryin to be my bff?…
←Rate | 05-21-2018 14:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Admit it. Every once in a while you say "Open Sesame" while walking up to an automatic door.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 07:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 07:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This is a country that outlawed “lawn darts” and the possession of a plant before it ever considered banning assault rifles.
←Rate | 05-20-2018 23:34 by Cicci Comments (5)  


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