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   messageicon The wife says she’s at the end of her rope, I guess I’ll put rope on my shopping list.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 08:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas decorations should come with coupons for couples counseling.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 15:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don’t want to brag but I can still fit into the same clothes I wore an hour ago.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 08:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You’ve been married more than 10 years so when your husband says he has big plans for you tomorrow he means he needs help cleaning the gutters
←Rate | 12-01-2020 11:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I found eleven dollars in the dryer this morning and spent the rest of my day interviewing investment advisors.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 08:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mom finally brought my Dad’s urn into the living room and placed it on the mantle. It caught everyone a little off guard including my Dad who was just sitting there watching Duck Dynasty.
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thank you all for donating to my gofundme to pay for my surgery; I have decided to buy 600 playstations with the money
←Rate | 12-02-2020 07:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are the people on soap operas always CEOs? Nobody works at Walmart?
←Rate | 11-23-2020 07:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't believe some people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.
←Rate | 11-28-2020 21:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m really thankful I had a childhood before social media took over.
←Rate | 11-30-2020 12:47 Comments (1)  

   messageicon My body is the result of thousands of pull ups. Pull up to the donut shop Pull up to the drive thru window Pull up results for “nearest pizza buffet”
←Rate | 06-01-2020 12:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My five year plan is to make it through this year.
←Rate | 08-06-2020 21:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
←Rate | 05-31-2020 09:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not to brag but I used hand soap before it was trending.
←Rate | 03-06-2020 06:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people shouldn’t be informed when this quarantine is over.
←Rate | 09-17-2020 07:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The further a society drifts from the truth, The more it will hate those who speak it...
←Rate | 08-16-2020 11:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by a majority.
←Rate | 07-23-2020 20:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t adopt a puppy to see if you’re ready for kids. Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don’t go anywhere.
←Rate | 08-10-2020 08:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not sure what I did wrong to get targeted ads for pants with underwear sewn in.
←Rate | 09-08-2020 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We haven’t seen the full damage this epidemic will cause, that will happen in about five to seven months with all of the gender reveal parties.
←Rate | 09-30-2020 15:48 Comments (0)  

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