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   messageicon The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.
←Rate | 05-18-2022 21:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone should’ve tried domesticating bears 10,000 years ago. We really missed the mark with that one. Could be cuddled up with a bear right about now, but whatever.
←Rate | 01-09-2023 03:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like staying home, because as soon as I step outside, I spend $100.00
←Rate | 01-08-2023 01:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentine’s Day.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don’t like being treated the way that you treat others? That must really suck.
←Rate | 01-19-2023 04:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep screwing me.
←Rate | 06-09-2022 23:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They said, “Californy is the place we gotta flee,” so they loaded up the truck and moved back to Tennessee.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 02:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You technically have 2 minutes to live, but every time you breathe it restarts the timer.
←Rate | 07-01-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: Why is your back all scratched up? (flashback to me chasing a racoon after she told me to leave it alone) Me: I’m having an affair.
←Rate | 06-30-2022 01:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re not happy single, try dating apps. You’ll still be single, but you’ll appreciate it a lot more.
←Rate | 04-29-2022 00:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m like an avocado, I’m only pleasant for a short period of time and it’s up to you to figure out when that is.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you’re in psychology class and you learn about the disorder you have.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I identify as a microwave dinner, because I’m ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.
←Rate | 06-18-2022 00:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gonna start a page called Older Fans, where it’s just me telling everyone what hurts today and what miniscule task I was doing that caused the pain. Today it’s: My back ~ The rain.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friendly reminder to put all current boyfriends and girlfriends at the edge of family photos so that they and easily be cropped out later.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep rolling your eyes, you might find a brain.
←Rate | 01-23-2023 03:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Octopuses are just wet spiders.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:38 Comments (0)  



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