Funny Status Messages

   wonders if people in France say "Pardon my English" when they swear..

   Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!"

   highly recommended and there's no need for a second opinion.

   thinks that by the time we finally figure life out the alzheimers kicks in and we forget it all...

   believes that sometimes it's best to not question your friend. Just help them dump the body bag into the river.

   I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

   going to make this day interesting by playing with matches and running with scissors out in traffic...

   So tired of these new gadgets and the companies trying to monopolize the programs, I am going back to my pencil and a piece of paper!!!

   Making a pot of coffee so I can get ready to go out and have coffee.

   "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" "Yes you are, I appreciate your apology."

   I don't want to know the Daily Recommended Value. I want to know the Daily Maximum Value that I can consume before I get either fat or diabetes.

   thinks that physical abilty doesn't compensate for mental incompetence....

   WARNING: Facebook contains traces of nuts.

   a little puzzled, as to why she has eye-liner on her thigh...

   Everyone's got a story. I'll sleep through yours next.

   Rich men treat ladies the way ladies treat broke men.

   There was a homeless man I was going to give a dollar to untill I read the sign he was holding that read "One day this could be you." So I put the dollar back in my pocket in case he may be right.

   "Let me clear my calendar for the royal wedding on 19th May" - said no one ever.

   Calm her down. Women love to be calmed down.

   My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...