Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
You mean you guys don't write for TV sitcoms either? 
Sometimes all you need in life is some really good sex.
Everyone needs to understand that the whole world is being played.
Can we start a rumor that all Ed Hardy & Tapout shirts are bullet proof?
Who wants to put on a bear costume and tear apart the tents of people camping outside a Best Buy for Black Friday?
if it's private, don't post it on FB. You don't see me bragging about screwing my wifes sister, do you??
What is the difference between a Snickers and Justin Bieber? The Snickers has nuts....ZING...
worst part of being sick? Sneezing while taking a piss...
If you mix LSD with Advil your headache rides away on a dragon.
Wow it's hot outside....I was only out there for 10 minutes and I was wetter than Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards...
Events like the death of the Indian gang-rape victim just help remind me why I hate humans so much.
Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He's excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time.
People say I’m sarcastic but I’m just investigating the effects of irony on morons.
If I press 2 for Spanish, can I pay my bill in pesos?
Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
it so wrong to bang on your neighbour's door at 2am and ask them to reset their modem?
I dreamed I had sex with my ex last night. I swear she ruins everything.
Doing a self breast exam. All I'm getting is a hard nipple. So I'm good right?
The Judge denied Jerry Sandusky's request to serve 30-60 in a Juvenile Detention Center.
Destroying my chances at getting elected to public office on Facebook post at a time. 