Mick F Funny Status Messages

   Buckwheat Word Of The Day: Dictate "I aks Darla wen she give me a bIow job how my dictate."

   I hate when you friend request a hot chick, then they add you and you're going thru their pics only to find out they look like Rosie O'Donnell at 75 years old coming off a thirty day drinking binge.

   I Rock, Therefore I Am. I'm Stoned, Therefore I Have the Munchies.

   The day before the annual Gregorian calendar re-set. Here's where I get all sappy and tell my pals how much they rock. You guys are the best. Happy New Year!

   I donated my body to science....fiction.

   Some guy is yelling, "Man, I'm fu*kin' such an idiot!" I said, "That's poor grammar, you should say, "Man, I'm such a fu*kin' idiot." He goes, "Naw man, I mean I'm having sex with someone with an IQ of 25 or lower."

   Good thing these facebook pokes are cyber based. If they were real and unprotected, I wouldn't have a family, I'd have a city.

   Patients To An Indifferent Medical Staff At A Penile Implant Clinic: "Can't we all just get a long?"

   Baskin-Robbins just sent a memo to Rosie O'Donnell-"Thanks to you, we're down to only 5 flavors!"

   How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it.

   What are those small bumps around a woman's nipples? They are Braille for "s*ck here."

   Camping? You want me to go camping? Listen...My idea of "roughing it" is a night at Motel 6 with no cable. ng it

   What has 50 legs and smells like urine? The Conga line at the nursing home's "Annual Harvest Moon Dance".

   Okay. They really should change the name of Judge Judy's show to: "Evidence, Shmevidence. He Just LOOKS Guilty!"

   Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope you don't multiply!

   I just made instant coffee in the microwave. I went back in time.

   :B (Guy with buck teeth).

   They say pot is a Gateway drug. If I don't hurry up and smoke some, this POS Gateway computer is going out the window.

   Facebook's starting to creep me out. I just got a friend request from a woman with the following attached message, "I like you. I like my men like I like my coffee. Freeze dried in a jar kept in the back of the fridge." I clicked "accept". Was that a mist

   My father was right up there with Einstein in the Science department...She taught me all about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't behave, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."