g0re Funny Status Messages

   No one can change a person, but someone can be a persons reason to change. - Spongebob.

   Girls: Theres always going to be that girl you think is much prettier, funnier, sweeter and just generally more perfect but have you ever realized that you're probably that girl to someone else?

   Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.

   Don't you wish you could just google anything? Like "where's the remote?" google:"under the couch",

   Some girls need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.

   If you can't remember someone's name then, ask them "what was your name again?" Out of instinct, they tel you their first name. Then say "Oh I knew that, I meant your last name!" And boom, you get the full name, and you're not rude. Double score.

   I have Big Boobs, I am amazing at Call of Duty, and I can make a really good sandwich, Unfortunately I am a guy...

   Ghetto people are always naming their kids after things they can't afford... Mercedes, Diamond, Pearl, Car Insurance.

   There are 7 billion people in this world, don't let one ruin your day.

   Girls spend too much time trying to look nice and not enough time trying to act nice.

   It's annoying how people on facebook, post sad youtube videos or lyrics because they aren't over their ex. I've always wanted to say this to you. your ex doesn't give a crap, Your depressing post piss me off to no end, and I don't think he/she loves you.

   "You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory" - Spongebob

   It's especially dangerous to run with scissors when someone nearby is running with rock.

   It's annoying when people take an unattractive quality they have and try to make it sound cute. "Umm I'm kind of a control freak. Like, I just REALLY like things my way. Ahaha(((:" B!tch shut up.

   Life's not a b!tch, life's a beautiful woman. You just call her a b!tch cause she wont let you get what you want,

   It makes no sense for a 911 operator to put you on hold: "911 please hold.""Ok, wait. Stop stabbing me for a sec." Murderer: "K"

   There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

   Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection

   Someone should invent a bra that plays music so girls can't complain that guys always stare at their boobs and never listen to them.

   I'm not single, I'm in a long distance relationship with this girl who lives in my future.