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KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages
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I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and wierd. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her.
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10-17-2012 14:21 by
Kisstopher
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Be the girl that all the guys want. Not the girl all the guys HAD.
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08-22-2011 13:59 by
KISSTOPHER
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What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.
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04-30-2011 15:08 by
Kisstopher
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Dear Enemies, I have so much more for you to be mad about. Just be patient.
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07-13-2011 13:34 by
KISSTOPHER
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"Hello, would you like to take part in a one-question survey?" "Sure." "Great! Thanks for participating."
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02-09-2012 09:55 by
Kisstopher
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When I die I want written on my tombstone "Finally Offline".
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04-08-2012 17:07 by
Kisstopher
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My poker face is when I'm standing in the express lane with 16 items.
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10-03-2012 10:14 by
Kisstopher
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Don't be Jealous of Me... If you had to walk a mile in my shoes you'd probably need year of therapy.
50
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05-07-2011 03:02 by
Kisstopher
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Men resolve a fight with a fist fight. Women resolve a fight with years of backstabbing, name calling, rumor spreading & social exclusion.
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10-19-2012 09:07 by
Kisstopher
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You know, Microsoft, if you had called it Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones.
83
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01-24-2013 13:51 by
Kisstopher
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RANDOM FACT: Having eye contact for more than 6 seconds without looking away or blinking reveals a desire for either sex or murder.
83
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03-12-2012 14:41 by
Kisstopher
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Dear Lord; If my happiness bothers some people, please give them their own happiness so they wont bother hating on mine.
83
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05-02-2012 14:26 by
Kisstopher
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When I was a kid I thought room service was for rich people. Now I realize it's for lazy, hungover people who can't find their pants.
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05-14-2012 15:33 by
Kisstopher
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You know we're in a recession when they start making game shows where the winner gets a job.
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02-05-2013 08:40 by
Kisstopher
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Sometimes I fake dumbness just to see how far people will go with their lies.
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08-02-2011 02:35 by
KISSTOPHER
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RECYCLING RULE 101: if no one saw what clothes you were wearing today, its totally fine to wear them again tomorrow.
121
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04-15-2013 14:11 by
Kisstopher
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Just because someone smiles a lot doesn't mean they're nice or they like you. Take alligators for example.
110
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03-07-2013 13:38 by
Kisstopher
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"Bros before hoes" sounds like something a bro without a hoe would say.
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04-15-2012 16:19 by
Kisstopher
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Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
55
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12-23-2012 03:56 by
Kisstopher
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Pregnant women look so happy. It's like they don't even know what's going to happen.
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09-11-2012 15:12 by
Kisstopher
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