Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
How many SJWs does it take to screw a light bulb? A: One. They hold it in place and expect the world to revolve around them. 
Using "amazeballs" in a status is the best way to let everyone know you dropped out of cosmetology school
We all name our dogs....But.... Wonder what they call us .....
Watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes. And thougt how easily their entertained. Then realized, I just watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes.
.....And then it occurred to me, maybe I'M the one with the weird looking nipples.
:) Why is a hot water heater, called a hot water heater ? Who needs to heat hot water?:D
I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. I don't have time for those meetings.
I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I didn't drive there in the first place. Anyone missing a car?
Hugh Hefner dead at 91.... =( Good thing he had so many reasons to keep it up for so long
When I leave home on time for something I have that sure feeling that I forgot something
Conflicting emotions: Watching your mother in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new car.
For no reason at all Smash Mouth's "All Star" is stuck in my head. I'm sorry to do this to you, but if I go down, we all go down.
I walked into the library yesterday and asked if they had the reference work.."Calcification Of The Spine"...The librarian said..."I've got a hardback"...I said..."Yeah...that's the one...thank you!!"
My minds wanders a lot. Fortunately, it's too weak to go very far.
They are driven to do what they do and no new law will stop them.
It's cool that both Twitter and Games of Thrones are all about 140 characters.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Recipes are like a dating service. They never end up looking like the picture.
YEAH!!!!! FIRST DAY OF SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!!!!! when do the kids go back to school??
Contrary to rumors, a full moon before the summer solstice is not bad news. Unless you're a werewolf who likes to go to the beach. 