doc noland Funny Status Messages

   Im acraid that I nade a maitake turning off autocorrd t

   I am not down with OPP but I'm definitely down with the sickness

   Look, all I'm saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".

   a guy at work has the whispering skills of Samuel L. Jackson.

   Does Krystal accept Valentines day reservations for one?

   Just discovered there is a level of sadness where happy songs are way more depressing than sad songs.

   I wish someone would cast Mel Gibson and Tracy Morgan in a buddy action flick about a crime fighting rabbi and a drag queen.

   wanna have some fun? get in the van!

   Wearing your Oakleys backwards is a stylish way to let people know you're amped about giving them HPV.

   I just got stuck in my office chair, and now I'm breathing into a paper bag..

   There may be a bunch of Princesses that follow me... But only one I'd fight dragons for.

   "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary!" - Sunday Brunch was delicious.

   thinking of joining the Mortal Kombat tournament. I am pretty deadly with Hulk hands on.

   I'm laying on my Girlfriends yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I'm in "downward facing chalk outline" pose.

   I can't participate in tickle fights because I get inappropriate b0ners

   ♫ Loving you is easy because you're slightly attractive and I've been drinking a lot, doot-n-doot-n-do-doo Ah.... ♫

   I feel bad for those inner city kids that are too fat to dance their way out of the hood

   Feeling self conscious? Just watch me "walk" on stairs! My bad knees makes newborn giraffes look like ballerinas.

   Can I still call it mimosa if its in a flask?

   It's weird that our sex parts are also our poopoo peepee parts.