g0re Funny Status Messages

   Life is all about ass, everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one :)

   Relationships aren't tests, so why cheat?

   y r men thinkers and women talkers? because men have two heads and women have four lips.

   If anybody is interested in a job where you sit and drink beer, 3 hours a day, 2 days a week, for $8000 a week, contact me. We can look together.

   "Bromance" should be a relationship status on facebook.

   Don't you hate when you put some much work and effort into an assignment and still fail it miserably.

   Why does Obama give his speeches behind bulletproof glass? Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody/

   Right now your holding your phone in your right hand, having your 3 fingers behind, your pinky on the bottom & scrolling down with your thumb! :)

   Stop, drop, and roll isn't just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   It's annoying when you go to a birthday party and you know nobody there except the host/hostess, and the host/hostess doesn't even pay attention to you so you're just sitting there awkwardly.

   something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That's yours now."

   Nemo is such a badass. He was the first one of his friends to touch a butt

   It sucks whenever you hear a song you really like in public but you don't know the name of it.

   Brb = looking for an excuse to stop talking to you

   Sometimes it's fun to use unnecessary amounts of anger: "Peter can I have one of your chips?" "no" "DAMN IT PETER, I WILL SH!T ON YOUR GRAVE!!"

   Don't be selfish with your prayers.

   It's the strangest feeling when you come out of the cinema when a film ends, because you were so sucked into the film that you forget all about real life.

   It's really annoying when people tell you to be yourself, just as you're about to turn into a lamp.

   Owls make good pets because they're always interested in your social life. You tell it "guess who I went to the movies with" and it always asks"who?"