Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
sean Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
[
Clear
]
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Next»
Most Recent
Search results for status messages containing 'sean'
:
View All Messages
Page: 2 of 14
What if they keep the name Redskins, but change the mascot to a potato....
120
21
←Rate |
10-16-2013 10:04 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.Do I have to think of everything?!
80
14
←Rate |
05-25-2012 10:38 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Divorce---When being wrong every day for being alive isn't working for you.
40
7
←Rate |
01-16-2015 08:33 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
I hate when people see me at the super market & the're like "Hey what you doing here?" & I'm just like "Oh you know hunting zebras"
74
13
←Rate |
09-20-2011 10:18 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
I put suicide notes next to roadkill so their animal families have some closure.
91
16
←Rate |
06-13-2012 08:40 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of chocolate covered toothpaste.
102
18
←Rate |
12-15-2011 09:23 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
102
18
←Rate |
09-27-2014 15:34 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like "the light is red!" and "don't text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
51
9
←Rate |
01-16-2015 08:31 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
The hardest part of gift buying is convincing yourself you don't deserve the gift more than the person you're buying it for.
51
9
←Rate |
05-06-2013 14:03 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs..."Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"
34
6
←Rate |
02-08-2012 15:26 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
34
6
←Rate |
07-15-2015 15:55 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
When I said make yourself at home I meant go wash my dishes.
17
3
←Rate |
01-22-2015 11:18 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
I'll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where's my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I'm here! Under your jacket!"
181
32
←Rate |
01-30-2012 10:33 by
SEAN
Comments (
1
)
7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.
164
29
←Rate |
03-05-2012 17:21 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
147
26
←Rate |
09-27-2014 15:40 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Hey, don't wear skinny jeans if you have a big head. You look like a Pez dispenser.
79
14
←Rate |
06-04-2012 16:54 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. #fail
220
39
←Rate |
02-17-2012 09:21 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
How in the world did Bill & Hillary Clinton avoid the celebrity nickname HillBilly? WE DROPPED THE BALL AMERICA.
310
55
←Rate |
03-19-2012 17:44 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
186
33
←Rate |
01-30-2012 12:10 by
SEAN
Comments (
2
)
A cop with a drug sniffing dog said to me "This dog tells me you're on drugs." I said "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs
135
24
←Rate |
04-13-2011 09:12 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Next»
Most Recent
[Search Results] [
View All Messages
]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com