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Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam... 
So Justin Trudeau has Covid. I'll bet he feels like he's been hit by a truck.
Starbucks is now a PC corporate homeless shelter!
In a society with more dumb people than smart, democracy becomes a serious problem.
If they would raid a job fair like area 51 ..nahhh that will not happen.
Should the hole from my vaccination shot be beeping a day later?
Welcome to your 40’s: that kid acting like your doctor, is your doctor.
It is a big burden being the only one who can prevent forrest fires.
My girlfriend has weekly lessons with the Devil.. I have no idea what she is teaching him
I’m learning how to do weight training by lifting dogs. I picked up a few pointers yesterday
Every time my husband pisses me off, I sprinkle sugar on his deodorant so he’s wondering all day why his armpit hair is so sticky.
How awesome were the 50s? None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals.
F-book has gone from a social media platform, to an entity bent on 'protecting' people from the truth.
I need to social distance myself from my refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.
got kicked out of Home Depot for trying to ride the forklift into the bathroom again
When I order something online I always put "Cross moat, Slay dragon, Leave item on back porch." in the "Delivery Notes" box.
Please pray for all the people at my last job. They're fine but they still work there
My anger management class can kick your anger management class’s ass.
Dr: You'll be at peace soon. Me: Am I dying? Dr: No, your wife is...
I put on my pants the same as everyone else. Reluctantly. 