Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   *Achievement Unlocked* 15G - Reading This Status All The Way

   You know who's going to take the title between the Celtics & Lakers......Football season that's who.

   Verizon called me complaining that my map was in their way.

   its funny how guys show off their muscles just to get girls attention, but never show off brains.

   How about that shocking Game of Thrones ending last night?

   True Beauty = (Woman + Confidence) - Make Up

   Did Obama really sign a bill in secret making free speech illegal during protests???? So the first amendment is almost gone. Liberty is truly dying by the months.

   trust and friendship can be tested by how long a person borrows an item of yours for so long and return it back in the same condition.

   FACT: For every Friend Request sent, $0.003 is added to Mark Zuckerberg's account.

   it might be helpful and less stressful to have a baby AFTER you finish college. Not before.

   You want to put friendship to the test? Put both your spouse and your dog in the trunk of the car for an hour. Open up the trunk to see who's really happy to see you.

   For once in my life, I like to push a cart in Walmart, let it go and roll for at least two feet straight WITHOUT fu¢king turning left on its own.

   6.9 billion people, 6.9 billion different opinions about life, the world, and God.

   When people say to me, "I don't have time", I ask them then why are you still alive.

   We would have a lot more time if we didn't have "Loading" time.

   Why would a girl wanna be a Barbie? Barbie's are fake and dumb, yes DUMB. I'll take a natural woman any day thank you.

   Don't tell me what they said about me, tell me why they're comfortable telling you.

   "Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself"

   It's extraordinary when a person comes in contact with a spider web or a bug lands on them, they become a Kung-Fu master.

   They got chicken-flavored doggy treats..ok...how does a dog know what a chicken is? He might like it if you give it to him, but he's not gonna say "Oh good I was hoping we was gonna have chicken again"