Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% end by a "relationship status" on facebook.

   Watch the movie ZEITGEIST if you want to know the truth about....everything. The ugly, brutal truth "they" don't want you to know.

   You never heard or seen a pothead come home and beat his wife have you?

   playing backyard football with Betty White and Abe Vigoda....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit.

   She had a Coca-Cola body....too bad it was the 2-Liter version.

   Quite a number of women put "Ugh" in their statuses to show the stress and pain of their "situation." To me it almost sounds like you're constipated. "Ugh!! I really don't wanna go to work today, ugh!"

   Remember when TV was free?

   Forget about differences, let's talk about our similaritites. You ever wake up in the middle of the night, and you don't know what freakin' day it is?

   's dad asked him for a balloon ride, but he said "No, I don't wanna be a hoax"

   That "Ah dammit!" moment when you wake up and use the bathroom and your urine goes in 5 different directions soaking everything but the toilet itself.

   They should really outlaw cursive handwriting nowadays. Especially for the ones who can't spell.

   Its Jesus' birthday yet..... we're the ones getting the gifts.....How about that.

   I'm the kind of person who drinks hot chocolate and cappuccino in 90-degree weather and eats ice cream and drink ice slushies in 10-degree weather.

   I bet Quagmire has tons of child support to pay.

   Did you ever stop to think if some of your friends were actually resulting mistakes made by their parents'...."Get-Together?"

   Wouldn't be nice to see if there is an alien on a far away planet that acts exactly like you do.

   Besides seeing it on money, 'government' and 'trust' do not mix.

   Got bit by a spider.......Now I got to go find a skyscraper to climb.

   Banking institutions are more dangerous than standing armies.

   A Bieber should've been in that car instead of a Walker.