Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   This status update you are reading is brought to you by your psychological addiction to Facebook. If you don't believe you are an addict, then why did you finish reading this status update......?

   Dear Monopoly, Thanks for the free parking and community chest.

   how come everytime someone on TV says there's gonna be snow, people go nuts and rush to the supermarket and buy food as if the snow is gonna keep people from stuffing themselves in their homes. Does snow make people more hungry or something??

   Men & Women view the world differently. Men view the world as it is, women view it by whatever they make up in their minds and expect men to figure it all out.

   why do people on Facebook make a effort out of telling everybody in a huge paragraph how bad & boring their day was to make people feel sympathetic...Get over it, everybody has their bad days but maybe it would be better if you kept it to yourself.

   People want a RELATIONSHIP, but always find themselves in a RELATIONSH!T.......Which one are you in?

   [How Most Wars Have Started Between Countries] "You believe in God?", "No" , (BANG!!). or "You believe in God?" , "Yes" , "You believe in MY God?" , "No" , (BANG!!)

   Reasoning Behind Most Comments to A Woman's Photos: 75%-Looks, 20%-Talent, 5%- REAL Talent.

   When you argue with a woman, its like the war in Iraq, [pointless and with no winning]. When she all of sudden stops and smile at you...you're already dead.

   You're always like a "deer in the headlights" when you look at the menu at Dairy Queen....You just don't know what to get.

   Circus + shopping = Walmart

   what's the difference between 'Live Feed' and 'News Feed?' Isn't all the news supposed to be Live!!!

   Tough times don't last, but tough people do.

   Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens: Chickens Can't Fly!

   There have been more collect calls in history on Father's Day than on any other day of the year.

   Oh...Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween they say. I guess they don't appreciate random stangers coming to their front door.

   really thinks Myspace is a female...So many mood swings and changes.

   Ladies, we men don't ask for much. We're very simple beings. All we want is food, sex, money, and silence. Feed Me, Fu¢k Me, Pay Me, & STFU. That's all!

   Curiousity killed virginity.

   a woman was found dead at her home last night. Cause of death was Twittering. Apparently she had too many followers(stalkers).