Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

   I'm the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I'm asleep.

   Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.

   If I ever find out who keeps Photoshoping that Channing Tatum loser's head on my body... I'M SUING!

   I remember when Santa said I was to old to sit on his lap. Well that was last year, this year I am wearing a disguise.

   Inspirational stat us: Today's probably going to suck. Don't be a little b*tch and handle that sh*t.

   Guys that take Yoga classes need their man card taken away and shoved up their ass. Oh, nevermind... they'd probably just bend over and pick it out with their teeth.

   I just got my pen!s caught in my zipper..................... I knew I shouldn't have bought those zip up shoes.

   Starting a hammock company for kids called "Kid-Naps" ........and maybe need to rethink some things....... :-(

   I'm not afraid of stupid people. I'm afraid of intelligent people with stupid ideas.

   Talking to your ex about your past relationship with them is like logging back on to MySpace. Once you've logged in, you will instantly realize why you left in the first place.

   Somewhere in the hood somebody mama is using they child's name to keep the house phone on.

   There's no better person to have as your friend than a bartender who doesn't give a f*ck.

   Just took a photo of myself naked. A hundred 'likes' within the next hour, or I'll post it.

   doesn't believe in superstition. It brings bad luck.

   I'm not feeling myself today... anyone else wanna try?

   All of my passwords are "incorrect" so my computer always tells me if I forget.

   I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

   Follow your brain. Your heart's a f*cking idiot.

   The term "swag" was invented in the 60s by a group of gay men as an acronym for "Secretly We Are Gay." No wonder Justin Bieber thinks he has so much of it.

   How does Justin bieber remove a condom after sex??? ... He farts!!!