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pole dancin on a numba 2 pencil... IT'S FRIDAY!!! 
What do whales eat? Fish and ships.
If I liked a pic of you and your man, it doesn't mean I'm mature... It means holla at me if he acting up.
I turned off the tv; what was the point of watching one boring moth-er-fucker after another one.
Saw my ex for the first time since we broke up at a diner last night. She was with another guy. So I ordered a sandwich, took a few bites, went up to their table, handed her date my leftovers and walked away.
Oops I almost forgot its sunday today, thanks facebook friends for reminding me with your religious posts.
Just glad Jesus died on a Friday Good Monday just doesn't 'roll' off the tongue as well
at the point where i'm confused about which one of the american black guys being killed by police you're talking about.
Biden said what Ryan was saying is “malarkey” before getting in his horseless buggy to head home…
What's the difference between a woman and a mermaid? Nothing, they're both lady on top and fishy down there!
if Darth Vader was really black would he have admitted to being Luke's father?
for a good time call....Jenny....867-5309
While its always good to honer our service men and women, Memorial Day is to honer FALLEN heros.
kissed a girl [then click "like"]
Don't mess with Packer fans, it not nice to pick on retards!
M.I.A
Can you imagine the outrage if Obama had refused to share his taxes with the people?
In Hell, everybody you meet explains how they found Jesus.
After what happened in the Kenyan mall I have no doubt now that Islam is a religion of pigs and muhammed was a fagggot
But, officer, look at this awesome s tatus I was about to p ost. 