Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Did you know the salt in the ocean is from all the misunderstood sharks, crying, because they just want to cuddle!
←Rate | 03-02-2013 11:00 by Pigpen1961 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wow danica patrick just got a rubber in the rear end in vegas on tv!
←Rate | 03-10-2013 16:15 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says ''I'm a fat a$$ like wearing a T-shirt in the pool!
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon WOW!! What a great dream!!! I'll never forget dreaming that me and ..um..um...um...Who was it?? Well, we um, um, um, um.....Oh crap!!!! Forgot it already!!
←Rate | 08-13-2012 11:10 by pooh boy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't be there for her tears, then don't expect to be around when other parts of her start gushing either...
←Rate | 08-21-2012 15:39 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you ever stop to think that maybe broccoli doesn't like *you* either?
←Rate | 08-11-2013 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I parked in a disabled bay in tesco this morning, a bloke shouted "oi what's your disability" I said "tourettes ya c*nt, now feck off":-)
←Rate | 04-19-2013 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I coulda sworn Kobe came out of the closet years ago.
←Rate | 04-30-2013 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GUILTY: Because you can't abort justice.
←Rate | 05-13-2013 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it weird that restraining orders don't specify what kind of restraints to use.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:04 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Call me old fashioned, but on some nights there's nothing quite like curling up next to my kindle fire with a good eBook.
←Rate | 06-10-2013 00:21 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon twas the night before Christmas & all through the trailer park, not a creature was stirring, not even a dog's bark (redneck edition)
←Rate | 12-24-2012 19:28 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then I got home...
←Rate | 01-28-2013 18:51 by pigpen1961 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I worked like a man yesterday (So I'm whining like one today)
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:16 by KAREN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feminist alright: but excluding opening doors, paying the bill, fight a bully, move furniture, ladies first. If those things aren't done prepare for "oh chivalry is dead & wow, such an Ae-hol!" continued.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 08:24 by Ballzheirmer Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''Breaking News ' Randy Travis was arrested at his home today for digging up BONES at a local cemetery
←Rate | 03-16-2016 15:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just wondering, will there be any Transgendered bathrooms at the Republican National Convention this summer?
←Rate | 04-30-2016 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You always know when random, clean, friendly people come talk to you in the street it's because they want you to join their religion.
←Rate | 09-24-2013 08:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The girl I like said yes! She wants to marry me! It's like this gun I'm pointing to her face is magical.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 08:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That one password you use for everything and if anyone ever figured it out they could single-handedly ruin your entire life.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 16:07 by Jackoo Comments (0)  



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