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I thought bullying was no longer socially acceptable....so why are the Republicans doing it? 
Twitter says they will stay based in San Francisco if they get a significant tax break. Apparently they are making so much money that their tax bill comes in at more than 140 characters.
When the Zombies rise, you will be safe. They like to eat brains, and clearly you do not have any!!!!
If you wasn't too into yourself, I'll probably be into you.
Starting to doubt if Lage Gaga is a drag queen
Hi. I'm unable to answer my mobile phone at the moment, but if you leave a message, the News of the World will email it to me later
Some women are wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.
has lost his shoes
If I caught a Grenade for you I Will No Longer Able to Hold On To You Forever!!!
Of all the Savages. First I hoped Michael Savage, then I considered Fred Savage, but alas, its the finest Savage of all.
I think the rapture stopped along the way for happy hour so that might explain the brief delay... I heard he's hanging out with the Dos Equis guy, the way that cat parties we might get a few extra days...
If you care for me at all, upon meeting Dee Snider you will say "Aren't you the singer from that fake band in Pee Wee's Big Adventure?"
Today I'm offering my "Tasting Menu" which is where I open the cans that got lost in the back of my cabinet and say, "Here, taste this."
so this lady is buying a birthday card and diet suppliments, cant help but wonder if these items are not related or if she's just a b!tch
The moment you say you are too good for someone is the moment they know the reverse is actually true.
This year I broke ties with Winter, She was pretty mad and told Summer about me. So our relationship has benn stormy and a little chilly at times.
Study: 50% of Jumbotron Marriage Proposals.. End in Jumbotron Divorce.
was in a public toilet at the home depot and suddenly had an urge to confess my sins ... but the guy in the next stall wouldn't quit laughing.... how inconsiderate....
Have you ever felt like your meant to do something great? Like actually make a difference? Mehh... me ether
From now on when some one places a depressing FB status we should all just like it. I'm sad.. my life sucks..FML.. no one loves me.. LIKE That way they get the attention they want and maybe just maybe will get the idea that FB isnt the place to tell ever 