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Sex appeal is made up of 50% of what you got and 50% of what people think you got. 
ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
SFOL #5: Beer goggles don't exist…you knew what she looked like, but also figured you could get away with it because of all the shots of tequila you'd had.
not going to college...shes becoming a Burrito Taster!
There should be one trained bear on each side for special teams plays in football
going to create his own costume and fight crime
"Ok, so we're both illiterate. I can't spell love and you can't read it."
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
asked the waitress what she recommended and she said the spinach dip was bangin'. Not quite sure how I feel 'bout that.
LIE: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.
Thinking rename the Weather Channel: " We are not even close about the weather Weather Channel"
Now lookie here, you big, orange, Moby D*ck!
I'm gonna check out The Social Network, except I'm not gonna actually watch the movie. I'm gonna just check out everybody while they are watching the movie.
I'm gonna keep poking you until you bruise.
I get my energy from my inner-G
When he says "We could be friends".. I feel like replying " We COULD be rare specimen of an exotic breed of dancing african elephants, But we are not... Atleast, I'M not !!
Pointing And LOLing, At Kids Falling Off Their New RipStik They Got For Christmas.
Everybody got snow blowers...Me all I got is man power a shovel.You wont see me in the gym gettin ready for Summer.
reading other statuses but your status is important to him. Please stay online and your status will be read in priority sequence. Approximate wait time 17 min 