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Conversations are the window to the brain. 
"I've been seeing someone else, but you probably haven't heard of him." - how hipster chicks admit cheating
Bro she just called you blind! OH HELL NO! Where is she?
was gonna donate blood until the lady got all personal and started asking "who's blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
drugs, sex and music doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk
running on pills and luck
Regardless of what they say, Romance is NOT dead. It's just playing dead. Kiss someone's lips to resuscitate it.
jus bought a new ride, cruisin thru the hood and was surprised to discover the confederate horn they forgot to mention.
My turn ons are only a light switch away.
Dear Karma, There seems to be a serious issue with your records keeping software. Please work on that... and I expect a full refund.
We will flip a coin to determine our future. Head, we will be together. Tail, we will flip again.
According to the Amcash commercials, I only need my checkbook and last paystub. Apparently, your last paystub from October 2011 doesn't count!
Of the seven deadly sins, I consider Dopey the worst.
Darth Vader had a hell of a case of emphysema.
I still prefer record albums with scratch sounds a poppin...gives character
Man, I just got sucked into the internet and lost an hour. Hi, my name is Scott and I am an idiot...
Sometimes you just have to take a breath ..... ;)
Why do the media cover “Dancing with the Stars” like it's news?.... I think they do it for the same people that can not manage to operate a self check out isle! Which, I'm afraid is like 80% if he US population! God Help Us!!!!
just saw about 20 turkeys meandering on the side of the road. Pretty ballsy to be so flagrantly open the day before Thanksgiving in a recession.
All computers wait at the same speed! 