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Use yes and no once Are you gay?:________ .. Are you lying?:________ 
While Obama was on the campaign trail for President, he said, if elected he was going to go "page by page eleminating the programs that do not work"...nobody had any idea that he was refering to the White House cable guide...
WHY IS A CHRISTMAS TREE BETTER THAN A MAN ? IT STAYS UP FOR 30 DAYS & NIGHTS, HAS CUTE BALLS & LOOKS GOOD WITH THE LIGHTS ON
Bella: I know what you are. Edward: say it Bella say outloud . Bella: Gay
Michael Jacksons twin sister died... R.I.P Elizabeth Taylor...
I went to my psychiatrist today. She told me I had a split personality and charged me $360. I gave her $180 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot.
I've been on and off the wagon so many times, I feel like a Wild West hooker working her way back to California.
Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?
thinks a woman is like a KFC bargain bucket. Once you have finished with the breast and legs, all that is left is a greasy bucket to stick your bone in.
used to hate going to weddings, all the grandmas would poke her saying, you're next. They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalotapuss!
I hate it when people throw cigarette butts in urinals... It makes them soggy, and hard to light.
You know what I think is cute? When my wife drives my girlfriend home without even suspecting a thing.
I've always been doubtful of girl cashiers' s-anity in shops. Some Inva-der poor opp-ortunist ra-ts!
We'll take Justin Bieber... Roman Catholic Church Priest Diocese.
There was this annoying guy at a movie. So I thought to myself..." what would jesus do " .....So I started the guy on fire.
Taylor Swift wins over MICHAEL JACKSON?!? Where the heck is Kanye when you need him!
When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. ....Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left
Jesus turned water into wine!..ok..I can turn my whole paycheck into beer BAH!!!...your turn Jesus.
I get now why they call it being a cougar bc to get my recommended daily protein I gotta take down an elk 