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If you sendme a friend request on FB, and your profile pic is of a vehicle of some sort, I'm going to assume that you're a Transformer. 
I will never change who I am for anyone. If you cant accept me the way I am, I will find someone else who will.
Rebecca Black - "its friiday, friiday" *Jason Voorhees walks in stabs her in the face and goes home* yeah, Friday the 13th.
Maybe you should eat that makeup, so you can be damn pretty on the inside.
Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt?...bet you're wondering now.
I don always use Internet Explorer, But When I do, Its Always to download another browser. !
Amy Winehouse Making the recession worse for drug dealers since 2011
not watching jersey shores!!!!!!
The minute people fall in love they become liars
I hope everyone that clicks on these “like if you hate cancer” posts get cancer. OK, not really, but I hope they stub their toe…
20 years ago when the guys went out, one of us got stuck with the porker. Nowadays, all but one gets stuck with one…
*US soldiers wearing Crocs invade Syria* Obama: Well technically I said no boots on the ground.
I like my coffee the same as my women. Black and sweet and ready to be creamed in.
has found that the best thing about dating a homeless woman is that when the night's over, you can drop her off anywhere.
My wife calls me The Margarita because after a long day, I can hit the spot!
Don't worry, US is headed in the same starving its population direction as NKorea. Its only a matter of years all our money will be spent on mindless defence
12.12.12 - It's a good day to test a microphone :)
That awkward time when you post something on Facebook that nobody likes...
Of course Melania's speech sucked, Michelle wrote it......
If I knew I’d have this many brain cells left, I would have partied a little harder in my twenties. 