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With the coronavirus I imagine they'll be a lot people staying home for Saint Patrick's Day, like a lot of Irish people normally do on I wannabe Irish night.
I'm a magician. An overweight magician. My most famous trick is putting on a Speedo and having it disappear instantly.
Home quarantine going great so far but not sure what day it is or what hour it is and I’m not really sure where I parked.
I judge people based on their email address.
If it was called a "rebsite" Elmer Fudd would pronounce it correctly.
When I get out of quarantine I am starting a line of lawn mowers called mowjo.
Toxic people be like “Enjoy your day” after they just ruined it
A Man's Take On Marriage: An arrangement where you're owned by someone else, yet don't actually own anything yourself.
Trying to figure how I know people from their profile picture is making excepting friendships harder and harder with all these masks.
Think I've spent half the time I've been staying home due to the Coronavirus just scrolling looking for something to watch on Netflix.
I'm almost to the point of thinking that the only thing that can unite us is a Netflix show about a gay zoo owner, with a platinum blonde mullet.
If change is good, exact change is even better.
Turns out the Canary Islands doesn't have any canaries. Just like the Virgin Islands doesn't have any.
In the future Frosty the puddle, will take the place of Frosty the snowman,
The last place to celebrate the New Year's eve celebration is the tiny north pacific Island Midway Atoll with the population of about 60.
My New Years resolution is to be more active. Sexually.
My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.
Technology has improved men's sex lives over the last 20 years!
The pages of Porn-tube don't get stuck together!
Why do people get angry when you say F you, or give them the finger ? But not when you say srrew you or up yours ? Don't they all mean the same thing ?
Kentucky man catches 20lb goldfish. Bet that willbe hard to flush down the toilet. 