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Anyone ever notice the pro abortion crowd looks like they never "get any" in the first place? 
not scared of heights.... just widths!!!!
Bob the builder! can we fix it?!!......no this time we're screwed
What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.
Gangnam Style: Dancing like an overweight Ch!nk getting b0ned up the a$$ by a sumo wrestler while wearing handcuffs that were put on by a ret@rded cop.
Shouldn’t you have to pass a drug test to get a welfare check since I have too pass one to earn it for you?
Fact Checkers didn’t exist until the truth started getting out.
Obama Nation sounds like Abomination coincidence hmmmmm……
: Things Change. Times change. I changed. you changed. :C
Woke up with a post it note on the end of my foot saying "Gone to market"...
Just because I'm recently single doesn't mean iv become desperate. Go away freaks!!!
I like Bieber's older heavier stuff.
i like my women like I like my stamps, lick them and send them on their way.
Steve Jobs know what I wanted before I know I wanted it!! Mark Zuckerberg thinks he knows what I want on Facebook, so he goes out and screws it up!!! Mark Zuckerberg, you are no Steve Jobs!! You are vision-less!!
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized...lol :P
hey look on the bright side LeBron. you have all those endorsement deals including the one who just called for you. wants you to be the new face of the board game "sorry"
a LEADER, not a follower... But if we're walking into a creepy dark place, SCREW THAT! You're going first!
All this lighting is pissing me off, just rain and thunder already. Your teasing me like a skanky girl across the street who dances naked with the window open..... I see you.
I'm not your Father but I can be your friend ( Heavy breathing ) - Step-dad Darth Vader
It is so HOT in my town ... Water in public swimming pools is evaporating so fast that children are being encouraged to swim in the deep end and keep ignoring the,"no peeing" rule... 