Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Joan Rivers passed away at 81, but her face was only 12. . .

   Hey Canada, when you're griping about how hot it is the one day it hits 70, remember, in the south we call that winter.

   When are the winter special olympics??

   ok Doc, give up... your not funny.

   So I have been thinking about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little baby spoons and then I got to wondering...what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

   Oprah makes $315,000,000/year = $26,000,000/month = $6,000,000/week = $850,000/day = $35,000/hour = $600/minute = $10/second

   How does your stomach know to send the burps to the mouth and the farts to your bum?

    Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you. 

   Put Anthony Hopkins and Robert De Niro on the same screen and you no longer have just a movie ..You have God's favorite movie,

   Dear God...thank you for all the good times you brought me this spring. Especially for that waitress in Myrtle Beach. You remember her....she kept screaming your name. :)

   Bobby Brown has a movie deal and a book about his life called "Higher than a muthafker".

   Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion

   "Macho Man" Randy Savage died at 58. Whitney Houston at 48. Corey Haim at 38. Heath Ledger at 28. How old is Justin Bieber again?

   I should be in Top Chef the way I Wake N Bake!

   All of mankind is descended of a man and a woman who had two sons. Think about that. Take as much time as you need.

   so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind.

   Think I'll get a third shot. And no I'm not in a bar.

   For some reason, the press seems more concerned with "BIack Man Killed By Police", than "Police KiIIed By BIack Man."

   wondering....Do the Fox sponsored "tea party" sheeple understand why we all laugh at them when they call themselves the "teabagers"?

   Dad, what is a silver and a bronze medal? Dad: I dunno son, we're canadians.