Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   saw some mexicans beatin some white guy with sticks in tge street. I yelled, hey, ...hey..thats a man, not a pinata..

   Back in 82 I was told to wait a cotton picking minute... I'm still waiting, how long is that exactly?

   I'm sorry, but any man who says his Wedding Day is the happiest day of his life has obviously never scored an over-head kick on FIFA 12.

   Please , with all that is good in life ..shoove those lemons up your backside ??

   In case I die, please update my status as "no more copy and paste". My password is ********** Thanks

   someone ate half my black crayon, the built in box sharpener is jammed, I have checks to write, gonna be one of those days

   I Hate Fake people! Go back to China where you were made!

   Woman! Can't live with them, can't live with them.

   a lot of ppl tend to over react to the situation before even knowing the true story

   "The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source." -- George Washington

   How sad Amy Schumer broke up with Kermit the frog.

   If Facebook shutdown people would be in tears, shoving pictures of themselves in front of mirror in bathrooms and showing on people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"

   Just because you're in a committed relationship, doesn't mean you can't have friends of the opposite sex.

   I bet I can maı̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨ke you wipe your computer screen.

   beware of the "Facecrook" who keeps stealing my friends !!

   A Careless Man: What the Bush Memoir Reveals

   my mum thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your uncle just died. LOL."

   It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana being legalized on the same day. Leviticus 20:13 - "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned." We've just been interpreting it wrong all these years.

   SCAM ALERT: If someone emails claiming to be your dad in heaven and needing $700 to pay a "be alive again fee".... t's a scammer not your dad.

   Christina what happen baby? It's like those fish nets caught a whale. Christina, when did you go from "genie in a bottle" to "pigs in a blanket"?