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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I am not childish!! Stop calling me that you big doo doo head.
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07-24-2010 20:21 by
Dunno
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wear his wife's eyeglasses because she wants him to see things her way
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06-22-2009 18:25
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Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick-skinned, short-sighted and always ready to charge.
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01-08-2010 11:30 by
lemonpillow
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if you replaced every time you read, wand, in a Harry Potter book, with the word Willy, the hilarity is immense.
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01-09-2010 23:13
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Trying to quit smoking. By the way.. Apologies go out to the mormon missionary eating the junior mint..I tried to tell you..I don't do mormon but menthol is my brand...I hope your recovery goes quickly.
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01-26-2010 04:30 by
Taleah
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today will mostly be dry with a few wet patches but enough about my trousers
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03-03-2010 07:19 by
goose
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I've created a Facebook group called "Threesome" and invited two girls. Now just waiting and see what happens..
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05-05-2010 19:41 by
Joser
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Whats the definition of Necrophelia? Its that irresistable urge to crack open a cold one.
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05-19-2010 13:43
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I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water, all I have to do is defrost it!
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05-31-2010 01:53 by
Señor Frog
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Bad breath + Bad body odor = Undateable
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08-03-2011 15:44
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That rather uneasy moment when Jesus comes back to Earth, but everyone moved to Mars.
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09-05-2011 03:56
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and they have been telling me for years, salad was good for me, well f'ck that i'm sticking to chips.
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06-02-2011 17:14 by
miz
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If you aren't going to neuter your male dog then please make him wear underwear. I don't wanna see his junk anymore than I wanna see your's.
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06-04-2011 19:47
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What goes around comes around. That's what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday.
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06-14-2011 20:04 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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The best part of waking up...isBUDLIGHT in your cup!
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10-09-2011 12:44 by
@kraziedavid909
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The Pilgrims were refugees and the Native Americans took them in, fed them and helped them, don't ever forget
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11-26-2015 12:56
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Fact: an Owl's head can rotate up to 840°, before it comes off in your hand.
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12-02-2015 14:51 by
snotty
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Real men who care for, cherish and love a woman faithfully, deserve the butthole at least once..
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12-06-2013 06:12
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Why do baby clothes have pockets? What do they need them for..baby wallets?
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02-17-2015 13:42 by
andrew jackson
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Judging people by their race and sex is wrong. I wish you priveledged white men would get that!
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01-22-2017 06:36
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