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the guy changing my oil this morning said he had earrings just like mine. LOL 
Driving school wouldn't be so bad if cops started giving tickets to all the hot girls they pull over.
the other white meat.
saved a lot of money by switching to NO car insurance
Cider (Apple), Vodka (Potato), Wine (Grape), Perry (Pear), Archers (Peach), Malibu (coconut). I never realised Just how much fun your 5 a day could be.
just when the caterpillar thought the world was going great....its cocoon cracked
one of your 5 a day
possibly doing something illegal right now.
loves the jobs you hate!!!!
says, "the sun can kiss the moon goodbye, a flower can kiss a butterfly, wine can kiss a frosted glass, and you, my friend, can kiss my ass!"
out of order! Thanks, Management
How to lose weight....eat stuff you hate !!
made it his main ambition in life to put the fun back into funeral
Time sure flies when your drunker than hell.
Everybody knows everything that happens in Mario games is just one of Mario's (likely shroom-influenced) dreams. Peach is that woman that he dreams of but can't go after because he's married. Bowser represents his current wife.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
thinking of exercising with this NY Detox but, I think I get enough of that by fighting sleep, jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running ragged, dodging responsibilty and pushing my luck.
Happy National Nothing Day!
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me...
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