Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I set my phone to airplane mode. It just now tried to charge me 20 bucks for a bag of peanuts and a Sprite.

   Scientists now say the hole in the ozone has been shrinking over the past 15 years and is no longer a problem. If Hillary won we would have been told it doubled. See why we don't trust everything we hear libtards?

   I have a name for the govt. agents that go door-to-door checking to see if you have been vaccinated: Ja-COVID Witnesses.

   loves Canada! They are like the upstairs neighbors that never get invited to the party DOWNSTAIRS!

   While cooking dinner tonight I got herbs in my eyes. I am now parsley sighted

   my son just said he just blew the ship up..."Daddy that is S..H..I..P.. not the bad word Ok"?

   There's way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health.~ George Carlin

   Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles?

   NFL announces no more goal dunking allowed. Oakland Raiders reply with a public statement: "No effect on us."

   Love her, Respect her, Surprise her, Never lie, Care about her, Text her first, Keep her happy, and make her feel beautiful

   honestly think Kentucky can beat a NBA team

   Drink a full big glass of FOX News Kool Aid to maintain that blissfully ignorant anti-American Republican frame of mind.

   Joe Paterno Dies In Hospital; Doctors Promise To Tell Their Superiors First Thing Tomorrow

   BREAKING NEWS: President Obama just announced the NEW' American Jobs Act which Is being redefined for unemployment Americans, they will now be classifies as "people with earning disabilities."

   white man will never be jealous of the black man's "progress". Consider revising. It's all good in "da hood" Get over yourself.

   Since they eat brains, you have nothing to worry about if there is a Zombie Apacalypse.

   attending the Rapture Day on May 21, 2011

   What if the end of the world just means the end of Facebook. It's the world to so many people...

   One of the greatest lesson which Life teaches: "There is no market for ur Emotions.So never advertise your feelings,Just display ur Attitude!!"

   thinking most of these guys wouldn't make it to Hollywood Week on American Idol