Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You say I'm afraid of commitment, but maybe it's you that's afraid of total uncertainty.

   It's hard to understand why eating a banana would be considered even remotely sexual. Sure, it can represent a phallic object, but if a girl devouring your pen!s turns you on then you have some serious problems.

   Seen a couple jogging this morning, he had on black leotards and a black hoodie, not far behind she had white leotards and a white hoodie,. I couldn't help but grine reminded of the old comic strip spy vs spy

   For those of you who were wondering why I have a belly, well I'm not fat, I'm just Full with love =)

   It makes you worried for the future when you see all the insecure girls on Facebook posting their pictures as their statu$ and begging for likes.

   There are two things why we don't trust people. FIRST: We don't know them. SECOND: We know them.

   I got the early bird special at Denny's. Don't do it, these worms taste like poop..!!!

   Ladies, if you can't be with your crush... always look fabulous. someday he may wanna be with YOU!

   Dear Someone: I miss you so damn much!

   I enjoypoetry, long romantic walks in the woods and poking dead things with a stick.

   Men cheat the most, women cheat the best.

   I'm convinced half of you are on drugs and the other half should be.

   If someome "rubs you the wrong way" its your fault for letting them rub you." And not telling them how to rub.

   The worst thing ever = that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

   At a vegan 4th of July barbecue. These sadness burgers are delicious.

   I can always tell if they use fake dinosaurs in films.

   It won't be easier just to erase every comment with more than 20 dislikes and almost no likes?

   So I told my bofriend I need a commitment from him so he sent his playboy subscribtion to my house

   I only knew one LA Clipper fan before this season and he used to get made fun of everyday for it.

   1-2 Freddy's coming for you... opps wrong movie! Happy Friday the 13th filled with horny teenagers and not machete wielding maniacs!!! ;)