Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   thinks God invented whiskey so the Irish would never rule the world!

   There no need to miss someone from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future. 

   They done studies you know, 60% of the time it works everytime.

   Jack Daniels.

   I am wondering if Snoop Dog ever watched Charlie Brown.

   it a violation to fart in a non-smoking area?

   Don't Facebook your problems, FACE THEM!

   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

   Likes are like crabs. Regardless of what you say - if you're trashy enough, you'll get them often.

   As Anti-Wall Street protests spread outside the New York Stock Exchange over the corporate greed in America, pitchforks were up by 8 3/4 and torches by 7 1/2 points

   hey guys!!!!!! A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

   If I ever send you LOL, you should know I prolly faked it! :P

   You CAN'T tell me that "Wendy Williams" Has Never, Wrestled For WWF.

   Some things just never change. You know that kid who used to steal your favourite toy only to break it and throw it away? Now he is the douchebag who steals your girlfriend, use and break her heart then dump her.

   For xmas my wife is getting SWIFFA so she can have fun while cleaning too.!!!

   BBC News: "Man critical after Specsavers car park crash." He should have gone to . . . Oh

   heading to Zanesville, OH for some big game hunting.

   survived Harold Camping predictions...

   FUNNY T-SHIRT IDEA: "I survived another Harold Camping rapture prediction".

   Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.