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Porsche for sale C?HEAP! Needs some work. 
Here's one for the women.......................... It's a 5-speed vibrator kind of day.
Tsunami works like this: If you don't go to beach, beach goes to you.
no matter what happens in England my queen will always be Latifah
FaceBook was shut down for 10min today.I could only imagine the baby boom to come in 9 months from now...
s standing at the entrance of weight watchers eating A bucket of kfc, ha ha, how cruel am I :-)
woke up with post-it note where one of his toes should have been. It said "Gone to market"....
Oooo God, Facebook was down for about 30 mins or so, I'm predicting a baby-boom in about 8 months... =)
I once swallowed a book of synonyms. It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
Michael Jackson gets to go to heaven because he was doing things the priest were doing.
Just heard the Octo mom called Casey Anthony asking her how to spell chloroform
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that's my Dad for ya.
Breaking: French warplanes engaging Libyan air force. Related: France surrenders to Libya.
less then 24 hours after Osama was killed , the US took custody of the body and dropped it in the sea? B.S. , he isn't dead... 1 word ... "RE- ELECTION"
Some people are weak and can't handle life so they turn to drugs. Some turn to religion.
I need a beer! I need another beer. I think I'll have another one. Iguetss jusst on moer. I'lll hav jush one morrrre. Blaaaahhhh.
Jesus is coming, Quick, look busy
Same Great Taste 40% Fewer Calories, 30% Less Fat.
Oh, you want a free college education? Please tell me how serious you took your free high school education.
This would look ALOT better in the toilet” -toddlers 