Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A new drug has been developed for lesbi@ns with depression. It's called "Trycoxagain"

   Q: why do military men wear uniforms at their weddings??.... A: to be prepared for "The Battle" afterwords...

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   "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

   Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, by the end you will wish you had a club and a spade.

   Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

   Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse...

   The Duck Dynasty guys need to to look in their beards, I'm sure there's a few ducks in them...

   Do you ever wake up and just say "nope" and then roll over and go back to sleep

   I'm just a regular guy, I boil my spaghetti one noodle at a time.

   don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines!!

   I wish I was in a gang, I never know what to do with my hands when taking pictures.

   LADIES: If your father is a poor man, it is your fate... But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity!

   Oven = Xbox for women.

   I saw a girl with a belly ring. She must've weighed 400 lbs. That belly ring turned out to be a hitch.

   Please tell your breast to quit staring at me!

   I truly believe that the key difference between men and women, is that a man can break a woman's heart, but a woman will sh!t IN a man's heart...

   hand over the casey anthony case to law and order svu...they have it solve in a hour

   Only Fat people follow KFC on twitter.

   If you think my wife is hot you should see my girlfriend.