Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
perfecting secretly sleeping at my desk. 
back to the future
I hate it when people don't let me sleep, especially when I'm driving
I filled up my car and it showed up on my credit report.
DAMN!! Obamaphones sure are getting one serious workout these last two nights in Ferguson!!
Hey Green Bay I bet your having a lot of W(H)INE with your cheese tonight.
Dec. 4 1079 it was 91 deg. Was it Global Waring then too?
I feel so blessed that the government protects my family and I from the dangers of gay marriage so we can safely go buy some assault weapons
You can be gay, you can marry, I don't care about any of that. But just stop it with the "I was born that way" $hit!
a man donates blood to his girlfriend. they break up. he says he wants his blood back. she throws a tampon at him and yells 'I'll pay you monthly!!'
faking the smile with the coffee to go
the weapon of choice.
If you add me as your friend and I ignore you.....Do move on it's just facebook. Don't change your name and profile picture and add me again! The request will still be ignored! I still know it's you!
the pill the second best thing a girl can put in her mouth to avoid pregnecy....
If a person keeps they cereal in fridge they grew up wit roaches
Business Plan: 1. Make a "FREE HUGS!" sign. 2. During the hug, whisper, "But it's $50 to let go." 3. Gently press a knife into their side.
Facebook (FB) + Instagram (I) = FBI............."They" are watching you.
The bipolar emoticon —> :):
if it were black girls the show would be called 12 and pregnant.
I have single handedly beaten my erection 