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Ladies: If he is only interested in your breasts, legs and thighs send him to KFC. Don't be his value meal. 
My sleep number is 2...bong rips
I wonder if Stevie Wonder knows he's black?
Dear Facebook: You keep offering up people for me to "friend", but then you get all concerned and ask me how I know them. You can't be the pimp and the cop!
Claiming my heart back, wrapping it up in aluminum foil and putting it back in the freezer. You dig?
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch,,,,,,,,,NAMES
Wanna hear a joke? WNBA
The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...
My neighbor's kids are named Maximus and Commodus. Either the couple is Greek, or they smoke ALOT of Crack.
logged into your facebook account and sending friend requests to transexuals
Meaning of Internet fagget according To urban dictonary last I checked is Someone that acts Tough on internet sites but cant back any thing in real life
But what was he doing the first one who subscribed to Facebook?
People spend their entire lives waiting for their ship to arrive, not realizing that they are in fact standing in an airport
wondering what idiot put a silent "t" in the word "listen"?
Heroine killed the curiosity cat.....
just watched World Cup Highlights of all the goals scored. That's 43 seconds of my life I will never get back!
I bet you're one of those people who take speed limit signs seriously.
once read a book about anti-gravity. I just couldn't put it down.
We're no strangers to love you know the rules and so do I a full commitments what I'm thinking of you wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling gotta make you understand never gonna give you up HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!
....Nick Cannon still mum on Mariah pregnancy. They're obviously waiting to make sure she doesn't have a bigger miscarriage than “Glitter.” 