Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   wants to play co-ed naked twister with a couple hot chicks.

   needs some magic dust to sprinkle over my problems to make them disappear... like a wizard. or a crack addict...

   Everything in life is temporary, the happiness and the sorrows, so live your life to the fullest everyday.

   's heard about the fountain of youth, he would much prefer there be a fountain of smart.

   Not Fat! Just value-sized!

   if things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

   Based on a true story

   for the next 20 minutes the universe revolves around me. Everybody else should step aside. TIA

   This account has been removed indefinitly for violations of our rules and regulations. If you see this user with a different account please inform our staff.

   Some people's noses and feet are built backwards. Their feet smell and their noses run.

   Do you ever wish you can transport people that annoy you on an island where they are forced to fight to the end & it's all filmed live for your enjoyment? New reality show pitch...what do you think?

   always wondered why people with no teeth often buy the most expensive toothpaste.

   all that, a bag of chips, *and* salsa. *AND* queso.

   ..is already missing her time in Palermo. They had sunshine and sexy women. What does the U.K. haue? A week of summer and Susan Boyle.

   at the end nobody loses, but there's me laughing at you.

   Thinks they should have Extreme Bejeweled Blitz Tournaments on the OCHO

   You should do this, you should do that...how bout you jus be happy I even listen to your suggestions! 

   Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

   Did you hear the one about the woman who was sexually attracted to electronic devices? She blew a fuse.

   Sorry homework - - TV wins again! It is just too temping :)